They say life’s
a journey.
And so far it’s
been quite a trip – learning to crawl becomes learning to walk, learning to
walk becomes learning to do so without being hit by traffic or roaming
elephants or falling off a cliff. You progress and learn how to use a toilet
and read and write (assuming of course that by reading this you’re all
literate… if anyone actually reads this trash). You progress through school and
learn the basics of physics and math and languages and geography and history
and art and begin to develop a personality and you learn how to trust and make
friends and how to love and hate.
When the
foundation’s been set, you learn how to make difficult choices like what and
where to study or whether or not to grow up. Some get married straight away and
sprout a family, a white picket fence and some llamas. Others start climbing a
corporate ladder and some try and produce an empire or become dictators or
assassinate [or lick] royals. Some become doctors and lawyers and actuaries and
psychiatrists while others become toilet cleaners and Celine Dions and gypsies.
Last night a friend said to me:
“Can I ask a slightly random
question? And slightly existential:
are you searching for
something?”
And I had to think
about that for a while. What was I searching for…
For those who go
through 300 years of med school, have you arrived when you’ve finally
graduated? Or is it only when you become specialized? Or is it only when you’ve
become the best?
For those who have
families, have you arrived on your wedding day? Or at your first house owning?
Or at the birth of your first child? Or is it only when they’re potty trained
or graduated or sprouting grandchildren?
Do celebrities
ever arrive? Or dictators ever conquer enough? Do archeologists only find success
in uncovering mammoth ancient ruins? Do cleaners ever get things clean enough?
Do travelers ever see enough of the world or endure enough adventures?
Can you ever have
enough friends? Earn enough money? Find enough time? Sproot enough offspring? Get enough ticked off your bucket list (http://barefootedgypsy.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html)? Find enough happiness?
A couple of weeks ago
I found myself being potty trained all over again – learning how to use a pump
toilet. Then I found myself learning to walk again – it’s a different kind of
ground on board a sailboat. I had to learn again how to keep meals down while
the boat bounces about on rolling waves and every time I go ashore it begins
again because the land seems to constantly shift beneath my feet. I’ve gone
from pretend-to-be grown up to an infant in days.
I’ve thought about
it a lot over the years – but last night’s question really made me ponder. I
know I’m definitely not just gypsying about to escape real life or run away
from responsibilities, but what is it I’m searching for? It’s like I’m chasing
something that doesn’t even exist.
This is probably
far far and further too deep for a Monday morning in the office/ on the
commute/ in a space station/ lazing in bed or on a beach/ wherever you may be…
but I really am curious how anyone ever really knows that they’ve arrived?
While I’m still frivolously happy plottering about this incredible world –
meeting amazing people, seeing incredible beautifulnesses, sampling foreign
cuisines, learning new skills and licking foreign artifacts – but where and
when does it all end? How do you know it’s time to end one and begin a new
chapter?
.... THE END.